Well it
was an eventful enough weekend. Pity the main talking point won't be
about the football. In another grand gesture to the gods of
controversy football had decided to kick off the weekend with a great
big shot in the foot. Duly limping it hobbled through the rest of the
game, much like this metaphor, before jumping in front of the nearest
bus, all the while, showing only a few brief sparks of happiness and
light and whatever the reason it is that we put ourselves through
this weekend after fucking weekend. Ah well........without further
ado.....
Chelsea
Vs Arsenal: Welcome to the Dean and Costa show.........
The
weekend kicked off with a mouth-watering contest between two
heavyweight teams; one of which is desperately poor run on form and
the other who seem almost on the brink of a desperately poor run of
form. It wasn't going to decide the title but it was going to give us
something to talk about. And how right that statement was, and for
all the wrong reasons. The result of the match was inconsequential to
the mire raised as a result of the game itself, which was a scrappy,
on-off and, later, one-sided affair which could have been so much
more. Mike Deans' desire to make himself centre stage of every big
game combined with his spectacularly weak brand of refereeing to help
put this game out of sight by half time.
Arsenal
can lay claim to being the most wronged of the two teams and the
lesser of the three evils on the pitch but it will scarcely do them
any good. But while their behaviour was idiotic, Chelsea's was
deliberate. Costa had set out to push around his opposing centre-back
but had found Koscielny an obdurate opponent, despite pushing his
face away with both hands, slapping him in the face again, then
barging him to the ground (all in one go), he found that the
Frenchman wouldn't rise to any of it. He found a more willing
participant in the other centre-back, Gabriel. Getting involved when
he really shouldn't have, he gave Costa an open opportunity to dial
the dirty tricks up to 11 and provoke a response. And he got one in
the from for a tiny leg flick that a linesman spotted (the same
linesman who missed Costa's near assault earlier). A leg flick that
was so timid that not even Costa, who rolled around like he was
knifed in the kidneys after tripping over his own feet at one point,
could throw himself to the ground for it. However he, and a number of
other Chelsea players, surrounded Dean and screamed into his face
until he sent off the defender. This did the match for Arsenal. A
slightly un-even contest made even more uneven. It got worse for
Arsenal when Zouma (not the smallest guy) was allowed acres of space
at the back post after a free kick to nod home. Cazorla was sent off
towards the end of the second half, his first yellow a rare good
decision, his second, a typically stupid one by Dean. Down to nine,
Arsenal went into damage limitation mode and looked to have contained
the scoreline when Hazard blasted a shot into the crowded area, it
came off Chambers elbow, wrong footing Cech and sailing into the net.
The match over, the key point remains (in a match that should've been
one to savour) that Costa was not penalised once the entire match for
a foul..........
Aston
Villa Vs West Brom: Pulis welcomes back Brommie's prodigal
son..............
This match had frantic written all over it. With both teams playing
the kind of football that makes people start watching rugby, both
needed a win. And a good one at that. Scraping a derby only gets you
so far whereas a solid victory can erase even the most glaring of
mistakes. Brommie definitely started the more energised of the two
teams and were almost one up inside of two minutes when Rondon
cannoned a header that required a superb save from Guzan to keep out.
The pattern of the match was set towards the end of the first half,
Villa asserting themselves on the ball with Brommie countering.
Agbonlahor teed up Gil perfectly for a goal and only a last-ditch
flying block from Yacob prevented the goal. Then, just before the
interval, Rondon fed the ball back for Morrison to shoot. He shot was
awry, however, and Berahino diverted it home to rapturous cheers from
the Brommie fans.
Pulis
has not made too much of how Berahino acted over the transfer window,
only that he deserved some, not all, of the abuse directed at him.
And, in doing so, has laid the foundations for Berahino to play his
way back into the team and the fans hearts. Goals were the only thing
that would make the staunchly proud Brommie fans forget the summer
disrespect and more like this could see him being the toast of the
town again. Post half-time Villa started strongly but Brommie were
set up to counter fully and barring a near-miss from Rondon (what a
signing he's been for them!) Brommie never looked to flustered to
double their lead and never looked like conceded either. Breaking
down a stubborn defence is tough at the best of times and requires
the skills that Villa don't seem to have at the moment. Sherwood was
not as sad as he was after last weekend 's capitulation but simply
referred to himself in the third person as someone who plays best
when backed into a corner. But his team are looked strained and it's
no telling how they will cope if the results their efforts are
meriting don't come. Someone should remind him that there are no
corners if you're falling down a hole. A win against Liverpool next
week would do just nicely, but he;ll need to ensure his team stay
focused to even stand a chance of getting anything.
Bournemouth
Vs Sunderland: Advocaat really should have walked away in the
summer..
It was all over in nine minutes.....Words to dread this weekend but
not if your a Bournemouth fan. Nine minutes was the amount of time it
took them to deliver all the damage they needed to to dismantle an
already ragged Sunderland team. A throw-n on four minutes saw Gosling
dribble the ball forward expertly before picking out Wilson on the
edge of the box. Wilson shook off Kaboul with frightening ease and
swept the ball home from close range. Five minutes later Ritchie
chested the ball down and FIFA'd the ball into the top right corner
from 25 yards out. It was an absolutely stunning goal which left the
long-suffering (and soon to be even longer suffering) Pantillimon no
chance at all. Not that this should mark out a display of total
Bournemouth dominance. Sunderland attempted to play their way out of
the quagmire they left themselves in but Defoe, who in the first 25
minutes alone switched from right to left and back to centre again,
saw almost none of the ball barring a well-saved shot which was the
result of a slip from Distin as opposed to any fine play on their
behalf.
The second half started much better for Sunderland but they'd left
themselves too much work to do and not enough time to do it. A
potential life-line was horribly ruled out when Rodwell fired in from
a corner and Lens turned it in at the back post. The flag was well up
but Lens was miles onside and the goal should've stood. It really
could've altered the course of the game but the result was put beyond
all doubt when, 15 minutes from time, Kaboul crowned the absolute
nightmare of a game Wilson gave him when he was given a second yellow
for a ridiculously lazy kick on Wilson. Down to ten, Sunderland gave
up and the match petered to an end. Sunderland have now to face Man
United next in what seemed like a forgone conclusion while Brommie
have to bottle this bounce for their next game against a hot-and-cold
Everton next.
Newcastle
Vs Watford: The McClaren car crash rolls ever onwards........
McClaren had hinted previously last week that he was confident of
taking something away (three points methinks) from Watford. He
clearly hasn't been watching the league up until now as there is a
resounding lack of “gimme” teams in this league and,
unfortunately, it looks like his is one of them. His teams porous
defence was horribly exposed time and time again by Ighalo who was
playing the game of his life. He could've been (really should've been
actually) three up himself after ten minutes. After dragging two
gilt-edged chances wide, he made no mistake with his third bite at
the cherry, thumping the ball just inside the upright. At the other
end, however, Cisse also endured a horrid bout of finishing, missing
a hat-trick of chances himself after being set up perfectly by
Sissoko who would've, at times, been better off going for it himself
more often today.
The
key to the match was formations and playing to your strengths.
Watford played a 4-4-2 with Deeney and Ighalo up front which proved
too much for the 4-1-4-1 employed by Newcastle. Colback was left
totally isolated by Wijnaldum going missing for huge portions of the
game and he couldn't adequately screen his centre-backs. Not that
they were moving much themselves as evidenced when Ighalo rounded
Krul to fire home into an empty net. The second was also a case of
positional blindness when Deeney expertly controlled a long ball and
set up Ighalo to double the lead. Gomes was tested only once in the
first half, near the end, repelling Thauvin's long range effort. An
overhaul was needed and it arrived in the form of Cisse being hooked
for De Jong who slotted into the No10 role with Perez being stuck up
front. It was Janmaat, as usual, who got Newcastle back into it.
Sissoko's cross was well-timed, after the overlap and his header
couldn't have been simpler. He nearly equalised later on with a great
shot from 25 yards that Gomes could only touch round the post. But it
was not to be and it really didn't deserve to be either. Newcastle
meandered through the first half like blind men and were lucky not
have conceded more. They play Chelsea next and Christ knows how
they're going to deal with that. Watford march onwards and have a
difficult game against Palace next and they'll know that defence will
need to shape up for the eagles.
Stoke
Vs Leicester: The Leicester resurrection trick is one that's never
getting old.......
As one-trick ponies go, Leicester's is one fucking hell of a trick.
The fact that they didn't grab all three points is enhanced by the
fact that they were no-where near their lofty best today. In fact,
they have no small measure of luck to thank for them not being more
than two down by half time. Or more than two down after twenty
minutes for that matter. This was not the finest defensive display
from Leicester. Where they can point to two world-class strikes in
last weeks match as the reason they went behind, they can only point
to some slack defending this time around. Arnautovic spinted down the
left in a manoeuvre that resulted in him skinning De Laet not once,
but twice, he ran full steam into the Leicester area and his low ball
picked out Krkic who had just simply ran past all four defenders to
slot home. Seven minutes later, Morgan underhit a back pass badly
(and then compounded it by not chasing after just standing there with
his head in his fucking hands) which left Walters clean through
one-on-one. He left poor Schmiechel no chance. Despite this, Huth
could've cleared the situation in the first place if he'd done what
he does best by keeping it simple and clearing the ball.
Half-time brought much respite for the Foxes. Out went Inler (who's
really struggling it has to be said) and then Arnautovic stupidly
hauled down Drinkwater on the edge of the box. Marriner pointed to
the spot and Mahrez dispatched. Back in it, out went the superbly
named Okazaki, and on came Ulloa who racked up an assist by playing
on a long ball to Vardy who stabbed home for the point. Stoke came
close twice to restoring their lead but their efforts were in vain
and Leicester are out of the fire for the second time in a row. While
there's no doubt that Leicester have an insane method of playing but
it's hugely entertaining and they're a match for anyone who can't
keep their foot on them for the full 90 minutes. Leicester now take a
wounded beyond all recognition Arsenal who will be looking for some
pride in-between a north London derby cup tie against Spurs on
Wednesday. Stoke take on another promoted team in Bournemouth and, by
the looks of it, they'll be lucky to fare any better than they did
today.
Swansea
Vs Everton: Swansea, making FF managers cry everywhere....oh wait,
that's Arsenal
Martinez seems to have finally cracked the code is has had for most
of his tenure at Everton; how to get the most out of the plethora of
young talent adorning his team. He fielded a back four today in which
three of the players were under 21 (Browning, Stones and Galloway)
and they performed admirably against a Swansea that, while not
exactly going balls-out for a win, certainly performed better than in
their recent matches. In fact, this was possibly the most
entertaining 0-0 draw you'll see in a long time. Both teams attacked
and defended quite well but it will be Everton who will walk away
from this with more of a sense of loss. They had, by far, the better
chances with a key one being a Lukaku effort that Williams had to
blast off the line. That said, he won't be looking back on this match
as a good day in the office any time soon. Nor will his opposite
striker, Gomis. His best effort was a wild scissor-kick after Stones
made an uncharacteristic blunder in mis-judging Naughton's cross
leaving Gomis free to whack it. Fortunately for him, it was straight
at Howard.
Everton composed themselves after the first half and asserted
themselves in the second. Barkley, who by now is really started to
make a name for himself, single-handedly played both Shelvey and Cork
out of midfield which opened up the pitch for his team-mates to
funnel the ball through to Lukaku. The second half was marked out
more by the reticence of Swansea more than the growing confidence of
Everton. Best point was, however, poor young Cork taking a shot to
the groin from McCarthy who smiled gleefully afterwards. Bastard.
Mirallas, not to be outdone by a hilarious nut-shot, was determined
to make his mark after coming on as a sub and did so five minutes
later. Only the mark was on Barrow's shin pads. Lunging in recklessly
with his studs up gave Attwell no choice but send him off. Barrow was
lucky to escape with his lower leg still attached. Everton will be
pleased with the performance, less so the scoreline, and will head
into their next match against West Brom confident. Swansea will need
arrest this slide in form before the visit to Southampton to be sure
of coming away with anything there.
Man
City Vs West Ham: Hammers, fucking up ACCA's everywhere....or is that
still Arsenal?
No doubt that when Bilic gets around to publishing his autobiography
it will be required reading for both potential and current football
managers. Certainly for those who are looking to perfect their away
form. Their last two away wins were at the Emirates and Anfield but
the main difference at the Etihad tonight was that City actually
played really well. De Bruyne played in place of Silva (who injured
himself in the warm-up) and fitted so seamlessly that he looks like
he's been playing with this team for ten years rather than ten days.
When Silva gets back City are going to have some fucking unbelievable
firepower. This day, however, belongs to the Hammers and any
deviation from that narrative to discuss how Silva may have helped
out City does them (and the league) a massive injustice. This wasn't
a smash-and-grab, they did not nick it. They defended stoutly
(particularly in the latter half of the match when City threw the
sink at them) and attacking incisively. If Adrian is being paid by
the save then West Ham are fucked because they don't have that kind
of money, let's face it, Credit fucking Suisse don't have that kind
of money.
It took the Hammers a mere six minutes to breach a defence that went
five games untroubled (up till now Hart has had to only make a grand
total of eight saves) Payet fed a great ball through to Moses who
turned and unleashed a low shot past Hart from 25 yards out. The
silence from the home support was unreal. Three minutes later they
were noisy but only in so far as they were shouting abuse at Aguero
for missing, pretty much, an open goal. He seized on Cresswell's lame
pass and rounded Adrian, who had stormed miles out to intercept, but
with the net to shoot at and only two out-of-place defenders to beat
he fluffed it. By this point City were beginning to take control of
the midfield through De Bruyne's skill and Toure's steam-rolling
everyone in sight. But little came of the dominance and they were
almost two down on the half hour when Sahko skinned Kolarov and,
one-on-one now, waiting too long and Mangala threw in the tackle.
They were two down on the 31st minute from, of all things,
a poorly defended corner. Moses's cross was pin-balled from Reid to
Obiang across the face of the goal and to Sahko who poked home while
the hapless defence watched and did nothing. Extra time saw Aguero
produce his only contribution to the game, other than diving, when he
lofted a ball to De Bruyne who fired past Adrian from outside the box
for his first goal. What followed was an onslaught on the Hammers
goal that could only be described as biblical. It was not to be for
City and the match ended with an immense sigh of relief from the
visiting crowd. The Hammers now stride to Norwich who must surely be
watching the Leicester game for inspiration whereas City have to
dust off two defeats and take on Spurs who may just be smelling the
blood in the water.
Spurs
Vs Crystal Palace: Eagles downed by Son................
One
of the lesser London derbies got under way and it was as scrappy an
affair as it even could be. Palace had lost Dann to a calf strain
during training earlier in the week and so had to field an unfamilar
centre-back paring of Delaney and Hangeland. They comfortably kept
Kane at bay the entire match and it seems as if the talismanic
striker will have to wait a good deal longer to end his duck. Maybe
he'll find Arsenal more accommodating on Wednesday. Palace's lack of
goals, however, was not due to a mis-firing forward line but instead
luck and the genius of Lloris. Many Spurs fans have stated that the
best piece of transfer business they did this summer was to stop
Lloris from going anywhere and it's easy to see why. His save from
Sako's free kick on the 37th
minute was masterful, Cabaye smacked the post before half-time and
then Lloris produced an early contender for save of the season on the
65th
minute from Sako. It was this save that finally roused Spurs up from
their torpor and got them playing. Three minutes later Son was
slotting the ball through McCarthy's legs (really soft goal to be
honest) and wheeling off for a jubilant celebration and all three
points. Outside of the Palace chances there wasn't really any other
events of note in the match.
Much like Martinez at Everton, Pochettino seems to have figured out
how to get his youngsters playing and playing well. Alli put in a
fucking herculean shift in midfield and alongside Dier (whio has also
been excellent) the two of them ran rings around Cabaye and McArthur.
And in Son they finally have that “Beat his man” style of player
who can drag a team on and hopefull make Chadli up his game. Time
will tell if he'll be more Lamela than Soldado but all the signs are
encouraging. Pardew, on the other hand, seems not really to know what
his preferred team is and his courting of Bamford now seems
ridiculous when it's now plainly obvious that he just doesn't rate
him. Without Wickham, he opted to field two wingers up front (Sako
and Bolasie) with two non-wingers on the flanks (Zaha and Puncheon)
in a 4-4-2. This was disaster as it allowed Spurs to pour on the
pressure without fear of a biting counter-attack. Zaha was hooked
(for the fifth time in six games and publicly marked out for a poor
performance), Sako was shunted out left and Puncheon was tucked in
behind Bolasie. What must Bamford be thinking when he's seeing
Campbell being subbed on despite having not played a second in the
League? Pardew has a tricky one against Watford next week and he'll
need his best formation to get anything there. Spurs have a time-bomb
of a run with a mid-week League Cup game against Arsenal followed by
City at the weekend. Pochettino will be hoping his teams' youthful
energy holds up that little bit longer......
Liverpool
Vs Norwich: Time is up for Rodgers?........
Rodgers has had a rough time of it recently. The trouble is that most
of it is his own making. Two of his most glaring ones came to light
in this match in both goals. The first was he's choice to spalsh out
an obscene amount of money on Benteke for a team that doesn't play to
his strengths making him world's most expensive square peg. It's no
coincidence that Liverpool took the lead a mere three minutes after
Ings was subbed on in his place. Ings direction, speed and work-rate
were more what Liverpool needed against a stalwart Norwich team that
were well-drilled and are toting an in-form keeper in Ruddy (who
fucking earned his paycheck today). Moreno pounced when presented
with the ball from an errant pass and his floated ball to Ings was
sublime. Ings finished calmly under Ruddy to chalk up his first goal.
That brings us to the second goal and Rodgers second biggest failing,
his baffling decision to not bring in an established keeper to push
Mignolet is being shown up as pure folly. While admittedly a lack of
concentration all round led to Martin's goal, the sheer feebleness of
the punch he gave the ball to clear only as far as the Norwich
captain was staggering. Martin chested down the “clearance” and
lobbed a superb shot into the net.
While
a point is not a bad result it is not one that Rodgers needs right
now. He needs wins and badly. He needs his team playing with an
identity. He needs Sturridge back to full fitness. This match could
have been worse. Milner should consider himself lucky not to have
been sent off after four minutes after his theatrical dive, after
deftly evading a Brady tackle, really could've brought the booking
which would have seen him walk. It would have been harsh but worse
cards have been given and, given the type of day it turned out to be
for Liverpool, it wouldn't have been surprising. Ings needs to be
given more time up front and it'll be downright amazing if that
doesn't happen after this game. Sakho back in place of Lovren will
boost spirits to no end but the results need to start panning out and
the team needs to take shape. With the vultures circling Livepool
play a similarly under-pressure team in Villa and need three points
so badly that any method of getting them will probably do at this
point. Norwich play West Ham and will need Ruddy and Co. on this kind
of form for that.
Southampton
Vs Man United: Van Gaal's luck hold out for vital win........
In the end Koeman will not be a happy man. Normally, in seasons past,
losing 3-2 to Man United was considered a good result. However, he
will rue the paperwork shenanigans that led to united keeping a hold
of De Gea for the United keeper was the only person keeping them in
it. Well, him and some 19-year-old they spent almost 40 million on.
It has taken Martial 75 minutes to make himself United's top
goalscorer this season and that alone points to the serious flaws
that lie at the heart of this United team. Yet they keep on winning.
Cautious to the point of making people wonder why bothered showing
up, United were a mess from start to finish, from back to front,
against a team infinitely more polished. And still won. And they
didn't do it the easy way either.
The
first goal was signposted long before it went in. Pelle bossed Blind
around like he was some sort of bad puppy, Darmian struggled to deal
with Tadic so much he was subbed at half-time and absolutely none of
the United defenders could deal with Mane. The crosses into the
United box started coming thick and fast right from the off and in
the 13th
minute, after numerous attempts narrowly wide, they finally got the
goal. Mane moved from his own half and found Ward-Prowse out on the
wing and managed to get to the box to meet the resultant cross. De
Gea produced a wonderful save but could not do anything about Pelle
tapping in the rebound. Pelle almost scored a second minutes later
when some good work from Mane and Romeu set up Pelle nicely but his
shot thunked off the outside of the post. Then, on the 33rd
minute, United levelled. It seemed as much of a shock to the players
as well as the fans and spectators. Mata helped a ball onto Martial
and, while the defence waved for offside against Mata, he feinted
once and finished low. It ended that way at half-time five minutes
after the re-start Yoshida played the laziest backpass ever straight
into the path of Martial and, one-on-one, he finished confidently.
The post echoed the same mistake made by Fonte in these teams last
meeting. - up, United tried to control possession but were just so
bad at it it was farcical. Fonte brought out another
save-of-the-season from De Gea with a powerful header. Then it got
worse for Southampton in the 68th
minute as Menphis turned Fonte too easily and fired off the post. The
rebound came to Mata who couldn't miss at that range. Four from the
end Pelle headed, completely unmarked, into the net after a superb
Mane cross again tore United asunder. They threw everything at United
after, bringing out two more unbelievable saves from De Gea, but it
was too late. Despite playing the much better football, their
mistakes had been seized upon and that was that. Southampton now must
dust down for what could be a challenge in Swansea next week. Man
United have the Easy A that are Sunderland although, playing like
this, anything could happen.
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