Gameweek 8: Crazy is back this weekend...............

Another enthralling weekend comes to an end. The league has been some ride so far, and we're only just getting started. Although for some people, and their teams, the fat lady has already sung, picked up the flowers and fucked off to the after-party. For others, their teams have yet to even begin to start playing and their lack of any urgency in trying to get out of the blocks is starting to show. Anyway, on with the review!.............

Crystal Palace Vs West Brom: The Eagles carve up negative Albion.........

West Brom arrive with a challenge to play more adventurous football rather than resorting to the smothering tactics Pulis teams are known for. One look at the team layout, however, would've sunk hearts all around. Fielding a 4-5-1 with his lead striker wide right in a blanket midfield it was obvious that Pulis had come to spoil the party and, given that it worked on his last visit here, who could blame him? Well, his own fans for one. Brommie have been turgid to watch this season and the clamouring for them to get on and start playing is growing ever more. Also his own players might be adding to that dissent. It can't be good for them serving up this dreck every weekend. They were never in this game right from the off and their mentality and tactics were all wrong. Seeking to counter the raw pace and skill Palace have on their wings (Personified here in Zaha) with stalwart defending only works if you plan with fast counter-attacks. Brommie just never moved and with their marquee striker out on the wings marking a winger you know we just weren't getting goals. Too bad that Palace have players such as Cabaye that specialise in cutting open “Park the bus” teams.

It might have helped Palace that Pulis didn't field proper full-backs or allow his players any room to impose themselves. Zaha routinely skinned Brunt and Berahino on the wings and, had he better finishing, he could've easily netted a hat-trick. Chester too, on the opposite side, was getting a ritual humiliation and this wasn't case of all-out defence it was an all-out retreat. What was amazing was that it went so long without a goal. And when the goal did happen it was from a familiar source. Bolasie getting the ball well and feeding it to Cabaye who floated a gorgeous cross back to Bolasie at the back post who's header left Myhill no chance. A fitting goal for a man who buried his father on Thursday and no one could have blamed him had he chosen not to play. With a goal to chase Brommie just weren't up to it and Palace poured forward. It seemed that it was going to be a one goal game (against all odds) when Brunt, clearly fed up with getting toasted the entire game, chopped Zaha down in the box and Cabaye slotted home from the spot. After the break Palace have to contend with a traveling Hammers team whereas West Brom needs to start playing and there's no better place to do that than at Sunderland.......

Aston Villa Vs Stoke: The Walking dead crush an even more lifeless Villa.......

Time is ticking for Tim Sherwood. Another drab loss to a not-really-that-good Stoke team have sounded the death knell for him and it's just a matter of time before he's among the first casualties. He's a solid team of players with a good blend of experience and youthful energy. Seems that the one thing Sherwood needs is just the courage of his convictions. He's got to stop chopping and changing at the drop of a hat. Building a young, hungry team with an eye for flair requires that you persevere through some bad times while that team gels together and also requires that you stick with roughly the same team and formation. Not fucking playing five at the back against Stoke while your two most creative players sit on the bench (Gil and Grealish) until half time. Despite the clear desire to ensure width to provide ammunition for Gestede, he was left isolated the entire first half with Villa not having one single shot on target. The second half saw the winning goal from Arnautovic, justified after having one incorrectly ruled out for offside in the first half, when Johnson saw the jumbo-jet sized gap in-between Richards and Crespo and threaded a ball through for Arnautovic who turned and fired a ball in off the left post on the 55^th minute.

This seemed to rouse Villa from whatever slumber they were in and for the last 30 minutes they started to play something resembling football. But while they can take heart from the fight they showed at the end it also exposed the sheer lack of quality the team suffers from. The constant rotation has not allowed any of raw skill on offer to develop. For Villa fans they could do worse than look to the example set by their opponents. For years, Stoke played the type football that made people watch rugby. It took the combination of an owner who gave a shit and a manager who wouldn't take any for the ship to right itself and for them to lift themselves out of the quagmire. It's a particularly Villa situation for them to finally have a crop of players that's better than any in recent memory and still be playing like garbage. But I don't believe they'll go down this year. There are definitely three worse teams than them around and if they find some rhythm they'll go mid-table easily. If the League couldn't get rid of them when McLeish saddled them with seven defenders in a starting eleven or when they were conceding 70% of the possession and eight goals to Chelsea then they'll survive this. Stoke have now won twice in a row and will be hoping to make it three against a mis-firing Swansea team in two weeks time. Villa have got a daunting run of games and, unless they get rid of the niggling stupid mistakes, they probably won't pick up a point until the new year; they play Chelsea after the Interlull.

Bournemouth Vs Watford: A point apiece between the promoted teams...........

Given the potential importance of three points and the denial of said points to a direct promoted rival, this match had the potential to be a tense, end-to-end affair. While it wasn't that, it wasn't the worst game on show this weekend. If we've learned anything from these teams' performances it's that neither look likely to go down this season. A draw was easily the fairest result here although it was Bournemouth who had the most of the good chances. Murray had to step up in place of the injured Wilson and he looped a header straight onto the roof of the net after twenty minutes. Presented with an identical chance on the 28^th minute, he made no mistake and buried the header past Gomes. Watford were holding their own but had not managed to create a single chance nor muster a shot on goal the entire first half when Boruc made his howler. Collecting a standard back-pass from Distin, he tried to play it straight back to him. The pass was laughably weak and simple for Ighalo to intercept, round the stranded Boruc and tap into an empty net.

The second half played out much the similar, Watford not creating anything but not being overrun either bar two incidents. The first was Cook's unbelievable overhead kick that Gomes somehow kept out. It was a goal of the season contender kept out by a save of the season contender. Then, seven minutes from time, the second happened. Smith spotted an uncharacteristic gap in the Watford defence and charged into the box. Capoue badly mis-timed his tackle, tripping him up and giving the ref no choice but to point to the spot. Stupid but not deliberate nor malicious so Capoue stayed on the pitch. Gomes then made yet another match-saving contribution by guessing right and palming out Murray's (admittedly) not too well-taken penalty to seal the result with a point apiece. Both teams will pretty much have a free weekend next with the lnterlull, and neither team will be looking forward to it as they both host the top two. Bournemouth have City whereas Watford have Arsenal. Definitely two for MOTD highlight reels then..

Man City Vs Newcastle: McClaren's dreams ripped apart in twenty fun-filled minutes...

So much for predicting on past performances. Newcastle tore into Chelsea last weekend and were unlucky to only leave with a point whereas City were drab and uninspired as they were thrashed 4-1 by Spurs. Today they were the ones handing out the tonking. The first half didn't bear this out though and City could've found themselves behind by that same scoreline if Newcastles' finishing had been on point. Mbabu regularly scorched the city defenders who are still criminally unable to deal with any kind of pace. City were saved by a number of dubious offside decisions and a few very good saves from Hart. But the cracks showed and the inevitable happened on the 18^th when Mbabu knocked the ball past Kolorov and smoked him. Mangala managed to get to the cross but succeeded only in knocking it as far as Wijnaldum. His cross was perfect and Mitrovic found himself completely unmarked in the box for a free header. Given that City had fielded their quartet of hundred million pound attackers they mustered only two attempts on target the entire half, one of them leading to the equaliser three minutes from time when Fernandinho headed a Silva cross back across the face of the goal for Aguero to tap in.

The second half saw the removal of an ineffective Sterling, the introduction of an equally ineffective Navas and City taking taking off their blinkers. Four minutes after the restart Newcastle meekly surrendered possession in their own half to allow Aguero to fire a deflected shot in to put them 2-1 up. Then City fired up the afterburners. Less than a minute after the second goal De Bruyne raced forward and fed a lovely through-ball for Aguero to lift over Krul to make it 3-1. De Bruyne then got in on the act three minutes later when he thumped home a Navas cross on the volley to make it 4-1. Seven minutes late Aguero made it 5-1 when he was given all sorts of space on the edge of the box and fired home. Two minutes later he notched up the sixth, his fifth, when he was on the end of a passing triangle with Silva and De Bruyne to finish low past the long-suffering Krul. That was on 62 minutes and Aguero was withdrawn shortly afterwards and surely a double digit scoreline beckoned had he been kept on but such is City's reliance upon him that they can treat him with such kid gloves. City take on Bournemouth after the break and this will not be making too many Bournemouth players happy whereas Newcastle have to come back and muster some sort of campaign (a win would do well) as they host Norwich next.

Norwich Vs Leicester: The comeback kings deal with late Norwich fightback.......

If only one thing can be said about Ranieri it must be this; The guy seems like he's really enjoying himself. I'd chalk it up to new manager syndrome but he's been here before, with a bigger team and larger budget, and he didn't look this happy. Maybe it's the lack of pressure to perform and the fact his players are absolutely killing it in the league. That must be it. Whatever it is there's certainly no manager who smiles more that's for sure. Even after losing 5-2 to Arsenal last weekend he walked out with the air of a supporter who's just won a huge bet betting against his own team. Given that Leicester have marked themselves out as something of a “Comeback” team it was interesting to see how they cope with being on the receiving end of one as, after dominating for the better part of an hour, Norwich made some key substitutions and hit their groove. But by that point Leicester had done all they needed to and they sat back and absorbed the pressure admirably.

Leicester kicked out of the gates at warp speed and, while they do the “high-pressing” game better than most, they were helped by a Norwich team that was set up to cope with a counter attack team which meant they spent lots of time on the ball (Norwich had 67% of the possession) wide open to be dispossessed. And dispossessed they were! They lost the ball a criminal amount of times in the first half and it showed in the nature of the penalty they were awarded. Vardy had given the Norwich defence a torrid time of it and while he looked like he'd already mis-controlled the ball before going down the ref judged Bassong had clipped his heels. Vardy stuck the penalty home confidently. Controversial it may be but even the most die-hard Canary couldn't disagree that Leicester deserved to be in the lead. In fact, the main bone of contention for Leicester (so good was their first half performance) was that they weren't further ahead by half time. This was solved pretty quickly after the break with Kante, who had been excellent the entire match, dispossessing Howson and releasing Schlupp into the box who rolled the ball home for the second. Norwich finally woke up. Mbokani was stuck up front alongside Jerome and the impact was so immediate that he surely has to start against Newcastle next. His first contribution was to smash a header off the bar and then he netted his first when he flicked home a superb Howson cross to set up the nervy finish. Ulloa headed home but it was ruled out as Huth was judged to have shoved the keeper (he did) and even though Norwich threw everything at them, Leicester remained resolute for three valuable away points. Leicester's players will need the break coming up as they travel to Southampton next and while Norwich will rue the lost points here they can look forward to three far more easily gotten point at Newcastle next.

Sunderland Vs West Ham: Hammers away form not as impenetrable as it first seems........

On the strength of recent performances this match seemed like a walk-over. The abject nature of recent Sunderland games was about to meet a travelling West Ham that just loves to travel, having beaten Arsenal, Man City and Liverpool away so far. What transpired wasn't anything close to that even if the result was still not enough to make Advocaat stay. He bade farewell to his players after the match and retired later on afterwards. Which is a shame as the manner in which Sunderland blew the Hammers away in the first half was admirable. Racing straight out of the gates they pressed the Hammers to every ball, every pass and every play. They got the goal their efforts deserved after ten minutes when Jenkinson conceded a needless free-kick on the edge of the area. M'Vila slid the ball through for Fletcher, who no-one went near thanks to a decoy run from O'Shea, and he side-footed home. On the 22^nd minute Payet badly undercooked a pass to Tomkins and Lens jumped in to intercept. He ran forward and, seeing Adrian off his line, lobbed in a sublime chip off the underside of the crossbar. Yes, this is the same Sunderland I'm talking about. The same Sunderland who's last three results were; A 3-0 loss, a 2-0 loss and a 1-0 loss. Now their players are lobbing keepers like it's FIFA.

It was probably at this point that the Hammers realised they could've been three or four down at this point and suitably slapped around the face at this point the Hammers started to apply some pressure and, on the stroke of half-time the “Best time to score”, they pulled one back. No-one cut out Moses' cross and Jenkinson pegged into the area, again no-one went near him, and thumped home from 12 yards out. Despite conceding and having to absorb a bit of pressure Sunderland remained solid and repelled everything thrown at them. Then Lens stupidly got himself sent off and the tide turned. Having already been booked he kicked out petulantly at Reids' legs a received his second. On the 60^th minute, the Hammers equalised. Lazini sent a shot towards goal that Pantilimon, for some reason possibly religious, didn't catch. He parried it straight into the path of Payet who dispatched with ease. A nervy half hour ensued with gilt-edged chance for Jelavic to win it but it ended 2-2. Advocaat hugged his compatriot Bilic after the match, waved farewell to the crowd and turned to do his last post-match conference. It's rare to see a manager bow out with a bit of dignity, usually their torn to shreds by some press dogs before leaving but he managed it. And the Premier league will be a duller place without him. Sunderland now have to content with signing a new manager over the break and preparing for West Brom (surely the easiest first match for any new manager right now) while the Hammers need to get back their mojo in time to travel to Palace.

Chelsea Vs Southampton: The Saints put one more nail into Joses' coffin............

In a weekend of crazy results, unbelievable performances and huge repercussions this result is just another drop in the pool. On any other weekend this match would have been the toast of the week. But, such is the whirlwind of naked lunacy this weekend gave us that this result, the teams' performances and Jose' post match rant will go fairly under the radar. Southampton arrived rejuvenated after losing 3-2 to United two weeks ago and absolutely humiliated Chelsea. That's literally the only word I can use to describe the match and result. Chelsea were sluggish, ineffective and totally lacking in any flair or ideas on how to improve. This lack of ideas extended also to the management who was forced into the ignominy of subbing off a player less than thirty minutes after subbing him on. Southampton were all pace and speed with vision and determination. Even after going a goal down from Willians' free kick on the 10^th minute, they did not ever stop going at Chelsea. Their equaliser was as wonderful as it was deserved when, on the 43^rd minute Fonte lofted a pass over the defence to Pelle who chested it down for Davis to steam into it and crack the volley home. All the players had been totally ignored by the Chelsea defence and midfield screen.

The break saw the introduction of Matic to act as a buffer to guard against the incisive runs of Mane which were shredding the Chelsea defence. He was so ineffective that he was subbed off 28 minutes later. Mane's goal on the hour mark came from more Chelsea dawdling, Cahill losing possession to Pelle who squared the ball for Mane. Mane rolled away from Terrys' clumsy attempt to intercept and even though Begovic got a hand to the resultant shot it trickled in. Pelle then got in on the scoring twelve minutes later when he dispossessed Hazard and freed Mane to charge forward. With a host of options he choose to clip his pass back to Pelle who rifled his shot home to seal all three points. For all the talk of the paucity of Chelseas' performance it really could've been worse had the ref spotted the two clear penalties that went asking. All credit to Southampton, they just got on with it and got the emphatic victory they deserved. The break will provide no real respite for Chelsea as most of their players will be on international duty and while the prospect of Villa will seem like three points in the bag, when they're playing this badly, nothing is certain. Southampton have a tough match against Leicester which has all the hallmarks of being a match of the season contender.

Everton Vs Liverpool: The merseyside derby fails to deliver......again.........

Merseyside derbies are sort of that old, syphilitic fart at a bar looking mournfully through a photo album of old conquests, all long dead, and bragging to anyone unlucky enough to get within drunken-lunge range about how he was once the most talked about fixture in the season. “Bigger than the Champs League final, so I was” he'd say to himself as everyone around him with proper mental faculties recall, in their minds now never out loud for fear of goading the old bear, a string of funeral dirge-like 1-1 draws, a smattering of yellow cards and the sense that this fine old tradition has somewhat lost it's lustre. If you want a proper derby, go to North London or Rome. They're derbies people talk about. Flamini smashing two goals in, one a thunderbolt of a volley, that's a derby. Kane ghosting past defenders to head the winner, that's a derby. Rosicky pegging it half the length of the pitch before absolutely thrashing the ball in in the first minute.....you get the idea. Here the only thing people will be talking about is that this turgid affair was the one that got Rodgers sacked.

Liverpool started this one brightly producing a number of fine chances before Everton realised that they weren't still on the bus and were actually in the game. It's unusual to see a Martinez side start a game so sleepily with the only awake player being Howard who was called upon a few times to deny clear-cut chances with fine tackles and saves. At times it seemed he was filling in for his defenders. Everton fired into life after twenty-five minutes when Barkley's free kick was buried by Naismith and only a wonderful save from Mignolet denied him. Can and Barkley both got booked over an argument about whose ball it was and then the match got it's first goal. Deulofeu (who stunk the place out royally and lucky to make it to 59 minutes before being subbed) conceded a corner and when Milner whipped that corner in Barkley decided that this whole “marking” thing just wasn't for him and Ings was left free to head home from six yards. Just before the break Deulofeu made his only contribution to the match, slinging in the cross for Lukaku which sailed over the striker's head. Skrtel cleared the ball but only as far as the striker it missed and he fired home to tie that match. Almost nothing of note happened in the second half with some half chances going wide. Liverpool have almost certainly got Rodgers replacement if they took him out almost right after the match ended and he'll have the break to prepare for Spurs and Everton have and old nemesis in Man United coming after the break.

Arsenal Vs Man United: Free-flowing Gunners blast creaking Man U to pieces......

It's safe to say that history does not favour the gunners on this fixture. Two wins from the last 17 to be exact. Last league victory came in 2011. Having crumbled so badly in the champions league it was thought that Arsenal would lack the spine to take the fight to the old foe of United. How wrong that assumption was. For the first 25 minutes Arsenal played a brand of football that no team could've coped with. Let alone one who has fielded a 31 year old Schweinstieger and a 34 year old Carrick in the centre. From the off there was something about this Arsenal teams' attitude. They pressed the shit out of the United players not giving them an inch of space on the ball at any point. Coquelin showed both sides to his game today, pressing hard and tackling in the first, expertly shielding and screening in the second. It helped that Cazorla had pulled Scweinstieger so far out of position it was hilarious. This, in turn, freed up acres of space for Walcott, Alexis and, far more importantly, Ozil to operate in. While Alexis will steal the plaudits for this match (and rightly so) this match also showcased the best of Ozil. What he can do and has been doing when it's operated on to the fullest extent. At times he was pulling off manoeuvres that only seemed semi-possible outside of a FIFA game.

That he was at the core of everything that Arsenal did is no surprise. His strong run to the by-line on the 6^th minute wasn't tracked properly and his cut-back to Alexis was inch perfect. Alexis' deft backheel fooled everyone and the ball rolled into the net. A minute later Alexis started another surge and his flick to Walcott in the box put him in a prime position to either skin Darmien or square to Ozil. He chose the latter and Ozil neatly side-footed the ball into the far side of the goal. Then Alexis left his stamp on the match on 20 minutes. Let loose by a Walcott pass he smoked Darmien and spanked his shot from 25 yards onto the top corner. It was not going well for United to say the least. Yet three goals in twenty minutes was still not enough to rouse them form whatever affliction cursed them. At one point Walcott, not known for his defensive nous, raced back into midfield to dispossess Schweinstiger with a sliding tackle. He not only got the ball but managed to get to his feet in time to win the follow-up tackle. Such was the sheer ineffective nature of United that both Darmien and Memphis were taken off at half time as United resorted to lumping the ball up to Fellani. This played straight into Arsenals' hands as they had fielded Mertesacker to counter this very course of action. Arsenal were content to sit back and try to nick another goal on the counter now, knowing United would have to chase the game if they wanted anything from it. Oxlade Chamberlain came close in stoppage time, hitting the bar, but United were long dead and gone by then. Arsenal now kick off a very winnable run of games after the break with Watford.. United have to find some way of getting out of the funk they're in and have Everton next.

Swansea Vs Spurs: Spot-kick master Erikson rescues a point from the Swans.......

A post Europa league match schedule has not exactly filled the Spurs camp with joy. There has been a notable drop in form following their European exploits and it almost cost them here again but for a player who has struggled for game time recently (Although that's due to injury rather than anything else). Erikson is widely know as a dead-ball wizard but has yet to properly showcase that talent in recent times. His two exceptional free-kicks, sandwiched each in-between an Ayew header and a slapstick Kane own-goal, helped Spurs avoid a loss that could've shaken them badly going into the international break. Spurs are now praying that his knees hold up and he can produce for the whole season, and if they aren't, they fucking should be.

The first goal of the match went to the Swans as Montero raced down the channel unimpeded in what is becoming a worryingly familiar sight for Swansea's' opponents. His cross was chipped in and Ayew rose to meet it and sent the ball across goal and past Lloris. Spurs equalised eleven minutes late when Alli was fouled just outside the Swansea box. Erikson stepped up and hit a flat, fast ball past a wrong-footed (and positionally suspect) Fabianski. On 31 minutes Swansea pulled ahead from an unlikely source. Shelvey slung in a left-footed corner straight towards Kane at the near post. His clearance only resulted in him raising his leg up and shinning the ball into his own net. The half ended with Spurs probing and Swansea countering. The second continued much the same until the 63^rd minute when Alli wa fouled again in the exact place as he was before. Only this time Erikson cracked the free-kick top corner. The match ended in a stalemate that both sides could have won but neither really had the class to take the reins and kill it off. Spurs host what will be much different Liverpool after the break and it remains to be seen of that change is for the better or worse. Swansea will seek to properly get back to winning ways against Stoke.