Well the
league is showing that there are still some twists and turns left in
it. Chief among them being Leicester's win over Chelsea, Palace
beating Southampton and Bournemouth winning. City were very lucky to
claim all three points, Newcastle beat Spurs and as for
Arsenal......well they won but they were up against Villa and there's
only so far you can stretch reality before it starts to crack open
and the nameless ones can get at us. Yet for all the new spice there
is still the old tastes that will never go away; Villa being dire,
Sunderland losing, Manchester United being absolute tripe and Jose
blaming everyone but himself and getting sacked. SO let's plunge headlong into the this
mire of hilarity and mediocrity...............
Norwich
Vs Everton: Score draw as Toffees get stuck against the
Canaries...........
Martinez lamented after this match that he'd “swap any record for a
clean sheet” when asked about his thoughts on Lukaku potentially
challenging Vardy's eleven game scoring streak and it's clear that he
viewed today results as two points dropped rather than one gained. In
fact, Everton should've been put of sight by half time such was their
domination of the opening 45 minutes. On another day Lukaku would've
netted a hat-trick at least from the glut of chances he was afforded
by a particularly porous Norwich defence, today he netted only the
once when he met Deulofeu's cross at the back post. The goal was a
showcase of hopeless defending. His team-mates were also lining up
for chances as Baines smacked the post and Kone had two great chances
saved.
Neil stated that he had “good discussion in terms of what's
acceptable” with his players at half-time which usually translates
to “gave the fuckers the hairdryer” and it worked as Norwich came
out of the second half and changed team. The second half ran at a
total opposite to the first. Norwich now pressed with intent and
Everton found it much more difficult to get through the previously
accommodating Norwich backline. Everton also seemed to shift down in
terms of workrate and allowed Norwich to run at them and find spaces
in the back. This was shown after only the first two minutes of the
second half as Norwich equalised. Jerome had found his feet and ran
down the right flank, cutting in. His low cross was cut out by Baines
but had the two Norwich players in support actually put the effort in
there could've been serious trouble. Norwich need not have bothered
as the corner led to the goal. Brady delivered a fine ball to Bennett
at the back post who thumped a header goalward. It was cleared by
Barkley but only as far as Hoolihan who bundled it through Barkley's
legs and into the net. The second half played itself out with chances
from either side but Everton will be aggrieved to let more points
slip away. Norwich will travel to Old Trafford and that pluck they
showed in the second half will stand good if they can muster it for
90 minutes instead of 45. Everton will hope to have their defensive
lapses sorted by the time Leicester swash-buckle into town next week.
Crystal
Palace Vs Southampton: More misery for the Saints as the eagles
strike...........
It's been a good last few weeks for Palace. After this win they now
sit sixth, level points with fifth and three off the top four. Their
performance today was rock-solid from front to back but they really
have their goalkeeper, Hennessey, to thank for the three point haul
today. For all their lamenting about a lack of a proven goalscorer
(which isn't to throw shade onto Wickham's solid workrate, but Palace
could do with a forward who can,at least, hit a barn door) they can
rejoice more that they've such a proven goalkeeper. Twice today he
kept them in it, pulling off the kind of saves that have even the
opposition applauding. He superbly backed up a stalwart defence in
front of him which ably supports a rampant midfield. A decisive
striker would be the cherry on top of this wonderful cake Pardew has
going. Not that what he's serving up is bad by any means, yet they
still relied on the Southampton defence completely going to sleep to
score and they can't be relying on lapses of such a comedic nature
regularly.
Southampton
had big spells of pressure but, even considering the two great saves,
they never seemed like scoring. There was no air of “keep this up
and we'll definitely score”. They too, were heavily reliant on
their own keeper, stand-in Gazzaniga, to provide some quality saves
when his defence and midfield let him down, which they did
frequently. There was one particular moment where he had to pull of
three saves in quick succession from Cabaye, Bolasie and Wickham.
This then led to the goal when a long goal kick from Hennessey was
played to Cabaye who released Bolasie down the right. He left Fonte
on his heels and dashed to the byline to cross low for Cabaye, who
had managed to wander straight through the midfield and defence
without a single player noticing him, who couldn't miss from two
yards out. The re-start saw Palace pour forward with Cabaye pulling
the strings. Gazzaniga had to be wide to a fantastic Wickham shot. He
later pulled off a save that defied belief when a Cabaye (who else?)
corner fell to Bolasie. It was the perfect height for a volley and he
absolutely put his foot through it. Somehow Gazzaniga got a hand to
it and kept it out. Long then had the last opportunity of the game
when put through one-on-one and opted to try to slot the ball between
Hennessey's legs. The keeper got down quickly and saved to secure all
three points. Palace are in fine form and will be looking forward to
the match against Stoke next week which would put them within a
hair's breadth of top four. Southampton need to salvage themselves
for the visit of the other major top-four hopeful: Spurs.
Manchester
City Vs Swansea: The money team lucks out against headless
Swans......
An
awful game matched only by the weather and the result. City skated
the line today in how crap a team can be and still take all three
points, I'd have thought United were odds on for that award. Make no
mistake, they did not deserve this and probably didn't even deserve
the draw that seemed nailed on when Gomis equalised in the 90th
minute. Swansea succumbed to a goal they could not prevent having
gone behind from a goal they really should have. Monk was sacked
after 22 months in which he took them to the premier league and had
them mixing it with the “big” teams but was unable to sustain a
series of results that his board considered good enough. Why they
sacked the manager just before they faced one of the league
favourites though is beyond me. Maybe there's no Welsh word for
“timing”. City themselves haven't had a good run of form although
their results have not suffered too much. They remain firmly in the
title race and still have some key players to return yet the paucity
of their performance today will not be leaving them too happy. They
play like this against Arsenal next week and they'll get shredded.
Swansea,
however, started with much more impetus and should've been one up
inside of five minutes. Routeledge left Otamendi for dead to leave
himself one-on-one with Hart. Unfortunately Hart was equal to his
attempt and saved well. Silva remained City's only real source of
drive forward and he set up Bony well in the 14th
only for the striker to scuff the shot straight to Fabianski. Swansea
attacked again with Routeledge found Sigurdsson on the edge of the
box and completely open. He took his shot first time and it was
straight at Hart. Navas forced a corner in the 26th
and he took the corner himself. Swansea completely switched off and
Bony was unmarked as he ran onto the ball and scored. The first half
ended with Swansea attacking again through Sigurdsson and he found
Ayew who hit narrowly over. The second half started with more Swans
pressure and they came close when Hart saved well from a textbook
Sigurdsson free kick. Hart was, by far, the busier keeper having to
make twice as many saves as his counterpart. In the 90th
minute, with Swansea still pouring forward, Fernandez hit a cutting
long ball right down the middle of the field to leave Gomis with just
Hart to beat having left Mangala in his dust. He hit his shot just
over Hart but with such power that he couldn't keep it out. The
cheers from the Swan crowd were still ringing around the half-empty
Etihad when, 90 seconds later, Toure picked the ball up on the edge
of the box and his shot bounced off the back of Iheanacho and looped
over the helpless Fabianski. Swansea will have made a lot of Arsenal
fans happy by making City look really bad today and will be hoping
West Ham suffer a similar drop in form next week. City travel to
Arsenal and will need a performance much better than this if they are
to survive.
Sunderland
Vs Watford: Slim pickings at the stadium of light..........
“A
relegation six-pointer” Sam Allardyce claimed this match to be,
which is a bit odd considering Watford came into the match in the top
half of the table and, afterwards, now sit in seventh. Whether the
comment was a blissfully ignorant assessment or the world's shittest
wind-up we will never know. One thing we are closer to knowing is how
difficult it will be for Sunderland to stay up this season. As it so
often does the slim scoreline betrays the reality of the game, with
Watford having more than three times as many attempts on target as
their hosts and were unfortunate not to walk away with at least four
goals. This was down to a combination of the profligacy of Ighalo
(even though he scored) and the skill of Pantillimon (even though he
was partially at fault for the goal). Watford have now won three on
the trot and five out of their last seven and are starting to play
some seriously good football. Sunderland are still mired in the same
problems that have dogged them all season although they can look to
the strong ending they had today for heart, even though it yielded no
points in the end.
It
took a mere four minutes for the Sunderland defence to concede and it
came from a routine looking passage of play. Nyom galloped down the
right flank, as he would continue to do the entire match, and crossed
low for Ighalo who had gotten in front of a dozy Coates at the near
post. His connection to the ball wasn't great but with the Sunderland
defence and Keeper still asleep, it didn't need to be. The ball
squeaked past Pantillimon at his near post. Seven minutes later the
lead should've been doubled when Ighalo turned O'Shea inside out and
just skipped past him and fired into the goal. A last ditch slide
from Coates cleared the ball off the line and the ensuing goalmouth
scramble ended with Jurado glancing a shot off the post. Allardyce
scrapped his five man defence idea after 20 minutes to try to stack
the midfield and see more of the ball and it somewhat worked, well,
at least they didn't concede again. The second half started off with
more of the same but Sunderland were beginning to play themselves
into the game. It all turned when Defoe came on and prompted fevered
questions as to why he wasn't put on earlier. He had the ball in the
net from practically his first touch, although it was ruled out for
offside, and he spurred Sunderland into a frenzy in the last twenty
minutes. They pressed the life out of Watford and fired ball after
ball at the goal with Gomes required to produce a brilliant stop to
deny Defoe. Watford will be pleased with their point haul so far and
a win over Liverpool next week will be incredible for them, even if
they'd take a point at this stage. Sunderland have a long slog to
continue and have the beleaguered Chelsea next week.
West
Ham Vs Stoke City: One hell of a scoreless
shoot-out...................
In
one of the most entertaining 0-0 matches you're likely to see (ever)
we caught a glimpse into Bilic's mindset with regards to his team and
how he wants them to play; attack! In the second half he slung on
Valencia and Jelavic for two attacking substitutions at 0-0, when
he's got a sizeable amount of his first team missing. The man has got
balls I'll say that. Yet his plan very nearly worked. That Hughes
also had the same plan with Stoke and it nearly worked too made for
some compelling viewing in a fixture that, in the past, could've been
used as a riot suppressant. West Ham left this match grateful, again,
to their goalkeeper Adrian for keeping Stoke's few chances at bay and
Stoke were grateful that Butland was more than equal to the horde of
chances West Ham had to score including a heart-wrenching moment in
the 43rd
minute when Shawcross his pass straight to Noble who surged past him.
Thankfully Shawcross got back in time to foul Noble off the ball and
walked away with the goal kick.
The
match started off brightly with the Hammers having first chance with
Koyate absolutely plastering a ball from 30 yards out. It took a
slight deflection but Butland got to it. Stoke got into it afterwards
to start off their only spell of serious pressure in the match when
Van Hinkel fired narrowly wide with the goal at his mercy and
Arnoutovic latching onto an excellent Afellay cross only to have
mis-judged where he was and his first-time shot flew wide. The half
ended with Antonio somehow missing from two yards when he slid onto a
Cresswell cross that had everyone fooled. The second half started off
well too with Antonio coming close with a volley that was straight at
Butland. The last 20 minutes saw both teams make ever increasingly
attacking subs and the match began to really heat up. Arnatovic
smacked a free-kick off the crossbar on the 67th
minute and Cresswell had a good shot ten minutes later which Butland
needed to be alert to keep out.
Then
the moment of the match came when Zarate was allowed to jink the ball
around the entire outside of the box without a single tackle being
put in and his crisp shot cannoned off the post with Butland well
beaten. The last kick of the game was a corner which pin-balled it's
way around the Stoke box unitl it got to Koyate who headed it on goal
only for Butland to punch away as the ref blew the final whistle.
Stoke will need to continue their renaissance next week against a
team who are in the midst of their own revival, Palace. The Hammers
travel to a headless team in Swansea next week that really should be
three points for them if they play like this again.
Bournemouth
Vs Manchester United: United's sleepy play finally gets its' just
desserts.........
I've
banged on about United's stodgy play for months now. I mean, who
hasn't? Van Gaal and his team of Diazepam players have been playing
god-awful horrendous football for a while now. But they still sit in
the top four. The fact always remained that, yeah they're playing
shit, but they're not losing. That's the key. Until now. It seems
this match could turn out to be something of a turning point. After
today, United can no longer sleep-walk their way through games. They
were comprehensively out-hustled today by a Bournemouth team that was
buoyed by their win over Chelsea last week and have now added
Manchester United's name to their kill-list. It's been a great few
weeks for Bournemouth, even if some of their players haven't had the
best of times. Bournemouth's best performer was Arter, who elected to
play despite losing his baby daughter a week ago, and he could've
been forgiven for not showing up to play. It speaks volumes about
this team and their spirit that such a tragedy actually binds them
closer together and makes them stronger.
United,
on the other hand, look like a disparate group of strangers who just
all happened to show up to a speed-dating session all wearing the
same clothes. They also look like they don't know what their supposed
to be doing, whether as a group or individuals. Van Gaals claims that
injuries have severely weakened his team will fall on deaf ears as he
faced a team who have not a tenth of the resources yet have just as
crippling an injury list. Nevertheless Bournemouth had sought to go
at United from the off, knowing that sitting back was to invite
danger, and promptly got their reward after two minute with a sublime
rarity: A goal straight from a corner. Stanilas had helped win the
corner from a free kick and his whipped in delivery to the far post
was flapped at by De Gea who could then only watch as the ball pinged
in off the post. Boruc kept this lead for as long as he could, making
a superb double save from Fellani and Carrick two minutes later and
Martial firing an inch wide on the 18th
minute. On the 24th
a floated ball in from Carrick left Menphis on and his shot was well
saved by Boruc. He could do nothing about Fellani and his follow-up
however and United were level. The second half brought more
Bournemouth pressure with Francis running virtually the entire pitch
and through the whole midfield and defence only for De Gea to save
well. The corner was fired low to King who slapped home to make it
2-1. United got desperate in their hunt for a second and left
themselves wide open at times, with Murray missing a golden chance
late on. The match ended as it should have, with the better team
winning. Bournemouth now travel to West Brom and will hope for three
on the bounce to really give them a huge boost in the league,
Manchester United have a lot of questions to answer before Norwich
arrive.
Aston
Villa Vs Arsenal: Gunners coast to victory over lifeless corpse
otherwise known as Villa
Most
Arsenal fans would say that these are the types of matches they need
to win to be title-contenders. And they have to be won convincingly.
It's no good crawling past a team like Villa, devoid of any kind of
spirit and cohesion, and expect people to give you a chance against
teams like Manchester City. And that's just what they did. Despite
starting quite slowly, which is odd considering the “pure speed”
output of a lot of the players, they grew to dominate utterly a team
that expects to be so. In Villa they found a nice resting game before
a week long break and the match against City. Villa had the
opportunity to show that they've got some pluck if people are willing
to believe in them and while they did play much better in the second
half, they were never in this game and always looked worse off.
Arsenal
have had to re-jig their lineup in recent months thanks to a plethora
of injuries which gave rise to the sight of Walcott back on the right
wing and Ramsey in his preferred central role. Ramsey was a machine
today. Full of running and energy and drive, yet it was Walcott who
secured the early first goal when his run onto a brilliant Flamini
ball resulted in him being hauled down in the box by Hutton. For all
the “controversy” surrounding how Friend took so long to make up
his mind it remains that he made the correct decision, it still begs
the question why he began by running away and then blowing up for the
penalty. Giroud stepped up and fired the ball to the right to make it
1-0. Arsenal then went full counter attack mode, ceding possession
knowing that they really couldn't be hurt unless they fucked up major
styleee. Giroud came close to adding a second with a header only for
Gestede to clear off the line. Their toying with Villa culminated in
a scything counter attack in the 38th
minute which saw Ramsey tackle Gana to release the ball to Ozil who
fed Walcott. Walcott waited for Ozil to run by him and played a
superb through-ball to leave Ozil one-on-one. Make that three-on-one
as he had Ramsey and Giroud to his left. He got close to Guzan and
squared around him to Ramsey who had an open goal. The second half
saw Arsenal shift right down in preparation for City on Monday and
they played well within themselves, comfortable in the knowledge that
Villa had nothing left. Villa have a trip to Newcastle and will need
to show more fight to hope for anything, and it's the two favourites
on Monday as Arsenal host City.
Liverpool
Vs West Brom: Good times and bad tempers.................
Klopp's
much celebrated tenuous grip on reality was pushed to the limit
today. He wound up celebrating Origi's 95th
minute equaliser (at Anfield, no less) like he'd just won the world
cup and stood staring at the West Brom bench with a manic,
near-insane, look in his eyes. Had he pulled out a chainsaw and set
about carving the backroom staff up into sandwich meat I don't think
anyone would've been surprised, they'd probably be surprised that it
hadn't happened sooner. He then ended by refusing to shake hands and
leading his team in a group bow that left everyone confused as to
what the fuck was going on and running for the exits lest they hear
the sounds of a chainsaw buzzing. West Brom, in the meantime, will
rue the momentary lapses that allowed Liverpool to snatch a point in
what would have been a landmark victory for them this season. They
conceded horrific amounts of possession (probably the lowest in the
league so far) and had only two shots on target. Thankfully they
scored with both of them.
It
was Liverpool who opened the scoring first though. In the 21st
Coutinho was afforded some rare space and he floated a sublime cross
for Lallana. Everyone expected him to go for goal with the header
and, as he was some distance from goal, everyone backed off him. This
meant no-one tracked the run of Henderson who was Lallana's actual
target. He dinked his header straight onto his feet and Henderson's
first-time shot was unstoppable form around six yards out. It was a
brilliantly worked team goal. The lead lasted only nine minutes
however when Rondon won a corner and Brunt sent it to him at the far
post. Mignolet came out to punch away and missed it completely,
leaving him badly out of position. The ball fell to Dawson who fired
in to level the score. In the 45th
minute Olsson latched onto Gardner's free kick and volleyed it home,
the flag staying down despite there being four Brommie players
offside. The celebration went on and as the player jogged back into
their half, the flag then went up and the goal was correctly ruled
out. The second half saw Olsson get his goal for real this time, on
the 73rd
minute, when he glanced home a Brunt corner. The 75th
minute saw Lovren stretchered off after a tackle with Gardner saw his
follow-through end up on Lovren's knee. The extra time from this
tackle would prove decisive. Myhill saved well from Lallana and when
eight minutes added was signalled, everyone knew this match was going
down to the wire. Origi, subbed on in place of Lovren, picked the
ball up in the 96th
and ran through a blatant foul. He got the advantage and his shot
looped in off McAuley to seal the point. Liverpool will hope they
don't need as much added time next week against Watford and West Brom
will hope to seal up the defensive gaps when Bournemouth come to
town.
Spurs
Vs Newcastle: That's it, it's official, McClaren is some kind of
sorcerer..............
Newcastle
went into this game looking to win two-in-a-row for the first time
since last Novemeber. This against a team that had only lost once so
far this season. Safe to say, it wasn't looking good for McClaren and
a draw was considered the best he'd get from this, if not avoiding a
humbling would be second.. A win was not on the cards. Spurs were
hoping to capitalise on Manchester United's slip up to Bournemouth
and a win would have put them level on points and establish them as a
top-four team finally. Dier's 39th
minute opener seemed to cement that notion until it all fell apart in
the last half hour. This result makes it three in a row at White Hart
Lane for Newcastle. Though they arrived at the win via the very
hardest route, typical Newcastle fashion, it was well deserved by the
end and they can thank whatever gods they want that Spurs did not
take full advantage of the entire first half of domination to really
put them to the sword and round out the half much more that the 1-0
they did. For that, they have Elliot to thank as he made some
unbelievable saves with one from a looping Lamela shot being the most
eye-catching.
Spurs
started the half on top and it stayed that way until midway through
the second. Dier's goal was your typical front-post delivery from
Lamela and the Newcastle defence ignored both of the Spurs players
there. Dier was first up and he thudded his header across the goal
and over Elliot who could do nothing. Mitrovic came on and the whole
dynamic of Newcastle's game changed. They started to build towards
the Spurs goal and, on the 72nd
minute, they got their equaliser. Rose stupidly stopped a Janmaat
cross with his hands and the free-kick was slung in by Colback to the
back post where Colocinni headed back across. Mbemba got down and
stooped towards the goal where Lloris could only half save it.
Mitrovic, from around three inches out, poked home. Newcastle smelled
blood and went on the offensive. Mitrovic narrowly missed a Sissoko
cross which would've settled it in the 90th
minute. Then, in the 94th
minute, Mitrovic headed over to Perez who seemingly over ran it and
his angle was too tight for a shot. Or so we thought. His shot was
low and hard and Lloris, again, couldn't connect cleanly with the
ball and keep it out. Newcastle will have some new challenges to
overcome next week against Villa as it'll be the first time in a long
time that they'll be clear favourites heading into a game. Spurs will
need to analyse where they went wrong and patch up for their visit to
Southampton.
Leicester
City Vs Chelsea: Hahhahahahahahahahahahaha...........................
HahahahahahahahahhahaAHahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahah......
2-1 to
Leicester.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahahaa
hahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahahah
ahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahh
ahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha
haahahahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahah.
Chelsea now a
point off the relegation
zone......ahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaha
hahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha
hahahaahahahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahhahahahaahahahahhaahahahahah Jose has been sacked!!!!! haahahhaahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahhaahaahahahahaha
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